Six months into 2022 and one year since taking the leap, making the change, moving, launching my own business, re-kindling relationships, beginning a new chapter, and biggest of all, fueling my relationship with myself.
It's also been six months since my last post. Coming into the new year, I felt a jolt of energy, excitement for what was ahead, personally and professionally. The year began purposefully at a slower pace, hibernating in the quiet during a very cold January, helping to fuel me for the more fast-paced, full months coming. February-April was filled with work and personal trips- teaching, coaching, celebrating big life events of friends and loved ones, and two weeks in Spain with my cousin Ellie and her partner Eliot- each day embracing the spontaneous joy in each moment.
After four months of being on a plane almost every other week, May-July have been spent at home with family and friends; going to see live music, exploring the twin cities, late night dance parties, lake weekends, chasing sunsets, awing at the moon, celebrating all love, Warrior kid camping trip, and most recently spraining my ankle. Being "forced" to rest and be present during this month has become a blessing (of course) as it got me to intentionally go inward.
A question I like to begin a coaching conversation with is "What has been on your heart recently?" For me, love have been on my heart and on this new moon in Leo, it felt like the perfect time to explore what it means to shine love onto others and mostly importantly, love onto ourselves.
Everywhere we learn that love is important, and yet we are bombarded by its failure. In the realm of the political, among the religious, in our families, in our romantic lives, we see little indication that love informs decisions, strengthens our understanding of community, or keeps us together. This bleak picture in no way alters the nature of our longing. We still hope that love will prevail. We still believe in love's promise." - bell hooks, All About Love
In her book, Atlas of the Heart (pp. 186-187), Brené Brown shares a few definitions of love:
"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection."
"Love is not something we give or get, it is something that we nature and grow, a connection that can be cultivated between two people only when it exists within each one of them - we can love others only as much as we love ourselves."
"Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can survive these injuries only if they're acknowledged, healed, and rare."
"We can love others only as much as we love ourselves." As a deep lover and empathetic soul (Pisces spirit), pouring out love comes easy and naturally. However, I have learned that I can often put my own needs and self-love aside to ensure others feel seen and loved. This past year continues to remind me that emotions can and often do co-exist. We can be living a full, meaningful life with so much joy and can still go through waves of sadness, questioning, change, and growth. Showing myself love comes in many forms and changes. It can look like morning journaling, receiving coaching, going to yoga, celebrating my accomplishments, positive self-talk, meditation, creating time to be creative, dancing, resting, sharing my boundaries, eating healthy etc.
Loving ourselves through the high and low waves is a continuous process; it's a journey. Some days, months, years may you harder than others. Be kind to yourself. You are enough because you are love.
Self-love ideas:
Identify your love language and turn that love inwards
Write yourself a love letter
Journal with self-love prompts
"We need more real love. Gritty, dangerous, wild-eyes, justice-seeking love."- Brené Brown
How would you define love?
What does it mean to love?
How do you cultivate love? With yourself? With others?
What does it feel like to love? Where do you feel it in your body?
What does it look like to show yourself love?
With love, Sam
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