Living Life on Purpose: A Year of Evolving

Happy New Years my friends and welcome to 2020!

I have never been one to like doing New Years resolutions. I believe in being mindful to become stronger versions of ourselves on a more regular basis, rather than only at the start of a new year. Often times, with the high expectations of a New Years resolution, I noticed that I was setting big, unattainable goals to feel better about the change I was making in my life. However, within a few months or even weeks, the resolution would die off and I would become disappointed in myself. I have then realized that for me, the change I want to make needs to be purposeful and align with my lifestyle so I can maintain my momentum towards those goals.

For the past few years, in place of the traditional New Years resolutions such as "I want to lose 20 pounds," I have chosen a word or theme for the year to provide direction and guidance, allowing myself to me more mindful of the life I am creating:

• 2017-Year of Positivity

• 2018- Year of Courage

• 2019- Year of Purpose

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My definition of purpose for 2019: Living your life on purpose means building a life that is true to who you are; doing things that give you joy and energy so you can be your best self for you and others.

As defined by Gallup:"Purpose well-being is liking what you do each day and being motivated to achieve your goals.” As reported by Gallup, only 18% of the world's population has a thriving sense of purpose.

Although I didn't know it when I chose the word "purpose" for 2019, this was a year of rediscovering myself and my purpose. If you you know me personally or have been following along with the previous posts, you probably have caught on that I am a pretty positive person; I do my best to look on the bright side. While this is true, what I learned this year is that sometimes (often times) I put others before myself and my own well-being, which resulted in losing parts of myself and causing my positivity to dim a bit. To be completely honest, this year was full of highs and lows, my anxiety was at an all tim high, like a roller coaster of emotions; exhausting, sad, frustrating, worried-filled, scary, my and hopeful all at the same time. At the lowest of times, I felt so lost and alone. I began shaming myself for my mistakes, doubting my abilities and questioning if I truly was the person I thought I was or if I was acting to be who I thought others wanted or expected me to be. This resulted in pulling back and isolating myself. Questions like"Who AM I at my core? What are my values? Who do I want to be? What do I want? Are my actions true to me or are they in response to wanting to be liked and fit in?" clogged my head, nowhere to escape and eventually resulting in a spiral of anxious, worried filled thoughts hours on end. I felt stuck and I didn't know the way out of the dark hole I was trapping myself in.

I remember going to my first counseling session and opening with something like this:

"I have a Psychology degree-I have studied, observed, and worked in mental health. I am a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach- I help people to recognize and focus on their strengths and what makes them unique to build a happier, fulfilled life. I teach students about the value of being their authentic selves and prioritizing their well-being to live a full life. I have read the books and listened to the podcasts on living an authentic life. I mean come on, Brené Brown is my person. I know all of these things, and yet, here I sit. I need your help. I need someone to listen and to help me to get back to myself."

If you have never been to a counselor or therapist, I highly recommend it for everyone. It is an opportunity to be heard, seen, and valued for who you are, without judgement or expectations, to help navigate through the dark stuff so you can focus on living YOUR fullest life; true healing experience. It was during these sessions I learned that I am the narrator of my truth, of my story, and it reminded me that I have the power to make changes and create the life I wanted for me. Having an outside perspective to help me see the light inside myself again was transformative and life changing, it gave me the recharge I needed. I've told my counselor this many times, but our sessions together helped me to climb out of that dark hole and get back to my positive self and this time, with more of a focus on me.

I write this post for both you and me. For me, it is a joyous time to pause, celebrate and share the intentional change I created in my daily life to live more into my purpose and to become a better person for myself and others. For you, I hope this post reminds you that while life is not always rainbows and unicorns, you are not alone. We all have our own journeys and stories, our highs and lows; we are always evolving and never have to travel the path alone.

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Below I have listed the top 10 ways I have created positive change in my life to realign with who I am and the life I want to live:

1. Owning and sharing my story: Starting this blog and sharing my story on the Ikigai Stories podcast!

2. Changing habits and routines: Morning routine- getting up 1 to 2 hours earlier so I can have a quiet morning with myself journaling and meditating (refer to previous post) before work. Evening routine- yoga, journaling and reading before bed rather than watching tv (I didn’t watch any tv for 4 months!), keeping my phone in the kitchen and setting ”downtime”from 8:30 pm- 7 AM, and getting 8-9 hours of sleep each night. Monthly routine- setting and tracking intentions and goals.

3. Being mindful of my time: Less screen time and filling extra time with more fulfilling activities I love: reading, writing, blogging, being creative, learning, movement, solo time, quality time with friends and family, and live music (shout out to the Maggie Rogers concert with Darcy and Kelsey in KC!).

4. Investing in myself and prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional well-being: Practicing yoga 4-6 times a week and completing 135 classes since March; started to see counselor; attended a women’s yoga empowerment retreat; participated in a professional coaching training course; focusing on healthy eating habits and less drinking; building up relationships with family and friends; leaving work at work; creating healthy boundaries.

5. Expanding my curiosity and knowledge: I completed my 20 book reading challenge and read books that contributed to re-discovering myself and my purpose. Check out my Goodreads!

6. Feeling confident in my financial well-being: Paid off my student loans (woop woop!) and now I am able to save, invest, and donate more, while also feeling comfortable to spend money on meaningful things for myself and others.

7. Saying YES to opportunities that align with sharing my purpose to help others: Promoted to Associate Director of the Clifton Strengths Institute; facilitated a 5-week strengths based leadership workshop series with 25 young leaders from Sub-Sahara Africa; started my journey as a WYLD guide/coach; became a RISE coach and facilitate monthly small group discussions to promote authenticity, courage, and connection.

8. Spending quality time with those I love: Blair Ave goodbye and celebration and being more present and vulnerable with family and friends from all seasons of life.

9. Establishing a spiritual practice: journaling, music, animal spirit cards, diving deeper into the significance behind the moon and zodiac cycles.

10. Embracing and loving who I am: Living a more courageous life advocating for myself; channeling curiosity and creativity in place of control; taking risks and moving beyond my comfort zone; practicing authenticity, vulnerability, courage, forgiveness, grace, and gratitude while letting go of judgement, fear, expectations, and unproductive thoughts and behaviors; identifying negative self-talk and transforming words into positive self affirmations; understanding the difference between being alone and lonely- I went to a concert by myself and LOVED it!

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As I read this list and look at all of these amazing memories from the past year, I am overwhelmed with such a giddy feeling. Thinking back to earlier this year, I never could have imagined this year was going to be so full of magical moments. 2019 has taught that while life is uncertain, uncertainty is what makes the journey so beautiful. For a few weeks now, I’ve had this strong feeling that positive change is coming and to make the most of it, I need to instill TRUST in myself, in others and in what is ahead.

2020- Year of Trust

“Life is moving us in new directions. Trust is key as life shifts in big ways. Questions might seem unanswerable, the future unknown, but you're in the perfect place. Even if you have the perception you're in control, you're not. Grace surrounds the situation and steers the wheel."- Kim Krans, Animal Spirit Guidebook

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1. What do you want to share and celebrate from 2019?

2. What’s your word/theme of 2020?

3. What are you most looking forward to in 2020?