I am continually working towards letting go of “perfectionism" while embracing vulnerability and authenticity to create a fulfilling, meaningful life.
Brené Brown describes these three terms beautifully:
"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are; It is the collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen."
"Vulnerability is the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. To be human is to be vulnerable; it is at the core, the center, of meaningful human experiences; it sounds like truth and feels like courage."
"Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal. Additionally, perfectionism is more about perception - we want to be perceived as perfect. Again, this is unattainable - there is no way to control perception, regardless of how much time and energy we spend trying. Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it's about earning approval and acceptance. Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis."
When I read these definitions for the first time, they hit me hard. Technology and social media has made it so easy for us to compare our lives to others, questioning the reality we should be living or a story we should be telling to be liked or fit into the "norm". These thoughts of comparison can then transform into worrying about what people think of us, therefore, resulting in perfectionist behavior to be seen as if we have it together all the time. But guess what, as humans, we are not perfect, we are beautifully flawed and we have absolutely no control over what people think or their perceptions of us. A good friend once told me that if we let go of what people think of us, we would be happy and free. Furthermore, "it is non of our business what others are doing"- Jen Sincero, You Are a Bad Ass
"Comparison is the thief of joy"- Teddy Roosevelt.
Since I can remember, I have been passionate about helping people. Four years ago, I became a Certified CliftonStrengths (Gallup) coach. To really help people, I have learned that I first need to fully love my imperfect self, to turn inwards and give myself grace and kindness as I do with others. I have to be vulnerable and embrace my authentic self in order to invite people into a space where they feel comfortable to also be vulnerable.
“You cannot get to courage without walking through vulnerability; vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.“
Brené Brown's research around authenticity, vulnerability, and courage encourages and challenges me to love my true self and share my story, impacting how I lead, connect and love others. Most days, I am confident in who I am and energized about where I am headed and the life I am creating. But there are still days where I feel like I am starting from square one, questioning my every move. Even though I am a certified strengths/life coach, I too am still learning and growing. Growth is a process. It's about moving with and through the good and tough days, reminding myself that I am stronger than I was yesterday and I will be stronger tomorrow than I am today. It is through the aspiration and working towards developing into our truest selves that takes courage. It is scary, it is not easy, but that's what courage is, right?
Thank you to the people in my life who have stepped into the space of vulnerability to build connection. Thank you for being your authentic selves, inspiring me to do the same. Thank you for accepting and loving me for who I am, supporting me along my journey. Thank you for SEEING me. I love and appreciate you all so incredibly much.
"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued- when they can give and receive without judgement."- Brené Brown
When was a time when you felt seen, heard, and valued? How did it make you feel?
Beautifully said Anna! Thank you for sharing :).
Love this! It's really what we crave the most, isn't it? To be seen, heard, and valued? Sometimes just asking someone to listen with the intent to understand vs. respond/fix/problem solve makes a world of difference and opens the door to be more vulnerable.